It is two years ago today since J and I have been together.

I know he can't be with me yet, I understand that and know it is getting closer and closer till we are together.

Argh! I expect too much from him.. I take things out on him when it is really unfair of me to do that. He's the one that is there, so he gets to deal with my bad mood swings, paranoia and insecurities. He knows all this about me, and knows when I'm going through one of these stages but I still feel so bad for making him have to put up with it. He never complains, never gets angry or frustrated with me about it.. he's just about perfect and I can still find things to pick on.

Maybe it's to prove to myself that he isn't perfect, and make myself feel better about my faults and flaws.. WOW! just reading over that made me see just how selfish that is.

Let's think positive.. it is the 2 year anniversary of my relationship with the most wonderful man in the world, and he is all mine! (hehehe) He chose me out of the millions of possible people he could have chosen to be with, and yet he chose me even with all of my faults.. it still amazes me that I have been so blessed to find him.

Earlier I asked him:

"we've been together 2 years.. what does that mean to you?"

and this is the wonderful, amazing reply I got..

"it means alot to me baby

you are my soulmate, I didn't know it when we first met.. but knew there was *something* special *smiles* couldn't put my finger on it then.. but I was drawn to you... now I know why.. you have brought me more happiness then I ever dreamed possible... you are everything I could have ever wanted in a love... I have found SO much happiness with you baby *smiles* every day I am happy, and it's all thanks to you... I can't know unhappiness while with you.. all I have to do is think of you and I smile... never fails... you are so perfect for me.. so wonderful to me... and I feel SO SO special knowing that you want to be with me, that you love me"

The Goddess has blessed me by letting me find the love of my life, and I am never ever going to let him go.